okay pat passed out under dana's car
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
