sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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