im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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