Bisexual people are plain selfish.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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