I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
