a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Holy sore nipples Batman
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