So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
