wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
