Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Randomize
