Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
