I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize