we have officially lost it.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
