it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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