The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
