You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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