"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize