I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
the day after is always just damage control
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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