God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
third nipple confirmed
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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