The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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