I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
