So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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