So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
