Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
