i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
