the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
