happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
