i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
