Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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