Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
