i just google imaged poop.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
