Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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