break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
