clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Randomize
