I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
