His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
