He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
