Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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