All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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