if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
