so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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