3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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