sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
