What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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