You can't motorboat a personality
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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