Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
