Midget sex pt 2 tonight
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Naked. naked and bneed help.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
