He asked me if I "almost moaned"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
