Tell her she can't have a vagina
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Randomize
