lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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