I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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