i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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