Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
