would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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