So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
