I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He felt like a one man threesome
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
