Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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