I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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