she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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